About Online Matters

Posts Tagged ‘Washington Post’

PostHeaderIcon Funniest SEO Keywords I’d Love to Optimize

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a lover of words.  So I take a short break from the serious work of online marketing to enjoy the beauty of our language and contemplate how single letters can not only change meaning but add humor.  After all, in SEO words are our business.

It seems The Washington Post runs a regular feature called The Style Invitational in which it invites readers to change a single letter in words to create a non-existent new word and come up with a definition for the new version.  It also has a variant of the game where the reader is asked to give a humorous definition for an existing word.  They both produce hilarious results, but I’m going to focus on the former game.  Here’s an example:

ignoranus: An individual who is both stupid and an asshole
(Pardon the offensive language. I’m quoting it.)

These will have you bending over in laughter, but since we are in the SEO game, I thought it would be fun to see the exact match volumes from Google Adwords Keyword Tool.  It turns out “surprise! surprise!” that people actually search on these new terms.  So for all of the SEO experts in the room, you now have data to justify creating pages, content and tags for these words. The words are shown in the table below. By the way, I am in stitches that ‘bozone’ and ‘karmageddon’ are the two most searched for terms. Like, wow. I mean, like really? Dude, it’s as if some karmic word God has touched all humans with the ability to recognize the truly funny. Enjoy!

Word Definition Exact Match Volume
Ignoranus (n.) An individual who is both stupid and an asshole 480
Cashtration (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time 91
Intaxication (n.) Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with 110
Reintarnation (n.) Coming back to life as a hillbilly 210
Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future 1,900
Foreploy (n.) Any misrepresentation of yourself for the purpose of getting laid 46
Giraffiti (n.) Vandalism spray painted very, very high 390
Sarchasm (n.) The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it 1,000
Inoculatte (n.) To take coffee intravenously when you are running late 36
Osteopornosis (n.) A degenerate disease 46
Karmageddon (n.) It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer 1,600
Decafalon (n.) The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you 210
Glibido (n.) All talk and no action 58
Dopeler Effect (n.) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly 63
Arachnoleptic Fit (n.) The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web 91
Beelzebug (n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bathroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out 170
Caterpallor (n.) The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating 16
Posts By Date
March 2019
« Jul